Learning to Deal with an Old Problem in a New Way.

As long as there has been an instinctual fear of those deemed weak and kids being raised by abusive parents, there has been a problem with bullying.  Before the rise of the Internet, it was something that only happened in person, and was considerably easier to deal with.  Whether you told someone about it, decided to fight back, or simply went somewhere that the bully could not follow, the end result was the same:  the bullying stopped.

Today, the problem of bullying still exists, but its method of delivery has changed.  Bullying online, or cyber-bullying, can now take place on social network sites, making it much harder to get away from a bully.  The only real way to do so is to go offline, but in a world where almost everyone is connected online, that option does not seem very realistic.

The story of Amanda Todd brought the most attention to the damage cyber-bullying and cyber stalking can do to a person, and it is easy to understand why.  After watching her YouTube video, I felt terrible for her.  I also found myself wondering why her situation had been allowed to happen in the first place, and why nothing was done about it.  It is because of those feelings that I understand why adults react the way they do when they believe they have identified a case of cyber-bullying.  It is a “knee-jerk” reaction, born out of a desire to prevent a repeat of Amanda Todd’s story; but the problem with such reactions is that they are usually fueled by emotion, and without much thought put in to actions being taken in response.

There are two sides to every story, and it is no different with cyber-bullying.  The other side could be that the bully in question comes from a rough home, and they are taking out their anger and frustration on others.  Punishing a kid in this situation only makes the problem worse; a conversation needs to be had, here, not blind retribution; this can be said for all forms of bullying.

Another problem of the quick, emotional reaction without understanding is that it can make problems worse for the one being bullied.  The young person in question is already receiving plenty of unwanted attention; if they fear that telling an adult will result in the problem being made even more public, thereby bringing more attention to the problem, they might not say anything at all.  This does not mean that the problem is all on the one being bullied, and that the bully should go unpunished.  It means that, like most things, some moderation is called for.

We have to open channels of communication and teach young people how to handle online bullies just like we have to teach them to handle bullies in person.  A "zero-tolerance" policy might come from noble aspirations, but it is only a temporary fix.  It does not actually solve the problem, and the person being bullied is not learning any life skills; skills that they will need to survive out in the real world, when they are no longer under the shelter of their parents.